One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
