The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
