So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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