I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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