no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
