Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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