We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
