UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
