Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
