You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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