oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
