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4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
