The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
