This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
