I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
