the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
