It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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