How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
