i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
