i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
