I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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