yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My vagina is officially offended.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
