I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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