We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
