I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
