pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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