Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
