Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
420 ftw
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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