don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
