Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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