Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The ass gains better be worth it
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
