Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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