angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
