There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
