I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
