she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
