Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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