i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
