please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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