you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
