How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love having hate sex.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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