I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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