Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
nutella sex= disaster
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
