I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
