It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
how does that bad decision feel?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
