we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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