when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
