I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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