It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
