There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
