so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
