She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I did not marry a roomba.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
