That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
