i don't plan on having that self control this summer
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
