I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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